I live in a city where the ratio between men and women is 1:5. So you can imagine how hard it is to find a good mate!
After I separated from my children’s father it took me 4 years to not only get back onto the dating scene, but to actually find someone decent enough to even consider dating.
Fast forward, I’m a cosmetologist and I’m dating a dentist. One of my high profile clients hooked us up, and I’ve been happy ever since. Keep in mind that it’s only been two  months girl, and he hasn’t met my children, family, or friends.
Nothing seems wrong with him, I just want to be certain before making the introduction!
What I love the most about him is that he is spontaneous! Girl, recently he called me and suggested that I take off the entire weekend because he had plans to take me out of town! BISH Whet!
This sort of stuff happens all the time. But here is the problem…….
I agree to go out of town with him, and I arrange for my parents to watch my children. Three days before we’re scheduled to leave, he and I go out to dinner after work. We talk about the trip, how excited we are, etc…… Then he throws in a curve ball. He says:
“Babe. I love your hair and nails, but on this trip let’s leave them at home and go all natural. You’re beautiful with or without that stuff to me.”
Girl, I wanted to quietly walk away from that table as if I was going to the bathroom and NEVER come back! I kept thinking, “how dare you?”
But instead I simply smiled and stated:
Girl, I don’t wear the hair and nails for him I do it because it makes ME feel good. I love to look beautiful.
But I gave it much thought and decided to wear a few “clip-ins” as opposed to a FULL weave, and just get a plain overlay on my real nails as opposed to my extenders.
I typically don’t do a lot with my hair and nails, but maybe it was too much for him.
And since we’ve come back, I haven’t installed my weave or gone back to my nails! BUT I want to soooooooooooo bad.
Girl, what should I do?
Hey girl, HEY!
First and foremost, you deserve a little praise for compromising because I know a lot of women [including myself] who would’ve gone on the damn trip with both my weave and regular nails.
So shoutout to you for that!
But here’s my only question, “how did you look when he met you?”
Were you wearing your long beautiful weave and nails? Did it stop him for falling head over heels for you? OBVIOUSLY NOT!
So I’m strongly against permanently changing who you are! Especially if your doing those things in order to make YOU happy as opposed to attracting a man.
Now I’ve said all of that to say that in a relationship you’ll have to make sacrifices every once in a while. So if he wants a “natural” woman when you guys go on vacation sometimes, I don’t see a problem with that. Plus, from what you’ve said…. his delivery gave me no signs of aggression or control at all.
Now if he gradually wants to change MORE about you, then I would reconsider the relationship. Don’t compromise who you’ve always been for the sake of making someone else happy. Your happiness matters as well.
If you want the weave and nails back, GET THEM!
He never said that he didn’t like them, he just made a different suggestion for a intimate getaway he planned for you two.
Keep in mind that he’s also letting you know that to HIM, all of the superficial stuff doesn’t matter! You’re beautiful and that’s what counts.
Every once in a while switch it up! It’s okay!
Hope this helps.