I never realized how insecure I am until recently. I mean, there’s been plenty of red signals, but things have certainly taken a turn for the worst.
Kierra I critique almost EVERYTHING about myself!
My hair is never good enough, the way clothing fits, my weight, there’s never enough makeup, etc……
It’s to a point where I can’t even walk into a room full of women and NOT feel inferior! Crazy, Right?!
But most recently, my boyfriend brought up my insecurities in the bedroom. We use to make love morning, noon, and night. It didn’t matter the time. But now I only prefer to do so at night, when it’s dark.
So after a couple times of denying him morning sex, he asked ‘what is going on with you?’
I’d never truly paid attention to the shift until it was brought to my attention, and I brushed it off telling him that it’s more exotic at night.
But, what should I do?
Should I tell him the truth? And if I do so, how will it end up?
Hey Girl, HEY!
First off, EXOTIC? No girl.
I always explain to people that INSECURITIES are real, and they can ruin you if you allow them too. I’m saying this because I was once in your shoes, and to some degree I still am. It’s just not that bad anymore.
I’ve found that the BIGGEST problem is, we live in a society where your physical appearance determines so much. It determines job opportunities, networking relationships [to some degree], dating options etc…..
Why do you think plastic surgeons like Dr.Miami will be able to retire soon???
It’s sickening and scary, yet very true!
We’d rather temporarily fix the problem versus getting to the true core of it. And honestly, the problem isn’t your weight, makeup, hair, clothing etc…. it’s SELF-LOVE. It’s your relationship with you.
See what I learned is that when YOU truly love YOU, it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks or says. The outside noise no longer gets a response, in fact, it’s unheard.
You’re open, honest, bold, and walking around exuding so much CONFIDENCE that others will wonder who you are, and where you came from.
But it’s also a process!
I’d suggest you seek out counseling, because some SERIOUS work needs to take place that involves YOU and only YOU! Not I, your family, friends, or spouse can aid in this process.
You need a professional.
I had to literally step back from my ‘world,’ take a look at everything, and realize that I didn’t want to be like the rest. Feeding themselves temporary pleasure! Faking a life that they really wasn’t living. No!
If I hadn’t done so, I would have lost it all! Including myself!
As far as your relationship goes, I would sit your boyfriend down and tell him the truth. Don’t go into too much detail. But let him know your feelings, how long you’ve been this way, and that your seeking help.
Also ensure him that it will in no way, affect the status of your relationship. It’s NOT him, but you and things will get better.
Insecurity is a fast way to ruin your love life. So I’m happy that you’ve decided to take action before it’s too late.
Hopefully this helps.
Happy New Year!