I honestly want to burst into tears while writing this letter to you!
So, prior to my current relationship I wasn’t really looking for anything serious with anyone. I’m only 25 years old, and I was only interested in living life. I’d witnessed so many of my friends from both high school and college settling down, getting pregnant, and just bored with life; which is what I did not want to become.
So yes, I dated multiple guys at one time, slept around, etc… Because in my mind if a man could do it, so could I! My friends would always tell me that I had a “male’s perspective” on life, which I was perfectly okay with.
But as I grew older, so did my mentality on different things. One being….. Relationships!
I began longing for something more than just “meetups” for sex, or the “friends with benefit” texts. I wanted something REAL.
So 6 months ago I began dating this guy that I met at the dealership while I was getting my car serviced. At the time he was also getting his car serviced, and our conversation began over how LONG the service providers were taking. Then it progressed into talking about our ‘careers,’ ‘dating life,’ etc… Next thing you know, we met up at a nearby bar for happy hour and chatted for HOURS.
Long story short, we’re dating and I’m SOOOOOO into this guy! He’s everything that I could’ve wanted PLUS more! That is until recently….
So last week he suggested that we go on a double date, bowling, with a few of his friends and their ladies. I didn’t see a problem with it so I said yes!
We go on the date and he introduces me to one of his best friends who I recognized from a few years ago! I met him at a lounge one night and we hooked up shortly after. ONE TIME ONLY! I’ve never spoken to this man again following that night.
So when we were introduced, we both awkwardly said, “HEYYYYYYYYYYY!” And when my boyfriend asked how we’d known each other, I simply said, “Through a mutual friend.”
Why? Because BOTH my boyfriend and his girlfriend were standing right there!
The entire night we avoided one another. I even saw him pull one of their other friends to the side, assuming he told him the truth.
But girl, I still haven’t told my boyfriend. I don’t want to lose him! I’m afraid…..
What should I do?
Hey Girl, Hey!
Point Blank, YOU NEED TO TELL HIM! Right now.
I’m honestly not sure why you waited this long! I would have told him as soon as we left the event, or when he dropped me off home.
Right now, you’re making yourself look bad! Especially since your almost certain that his friend has already started to run his mouth. It’s only a matter of time before the news gets back to him, and you don’t want him to feel like you’re making a fool of him. As if everyone around him knows, yet you didn’t say anything.
That’s a FOR SURE way that you’ll lose him!
Truthfully, you may still end up losing him if you tell him right now.
Here’s what you must remember, guys aren’t built like us. They can’t handle most of the shit that they expect up to deal with. We can put up with a guys past! For them, they just don’t want to know about ours! In their eyes, we’re PURE until we show otherwise.
But in this case, you need to spill it.
Fuck setting the stage, Fuck asking others opinion, Fuck getting depressed!
Invite him over your house, because this needs to be a face to face conversation, and tell him what happened!
Let him know that this was BEFORE you’d ever known him, and it was only one time.
Also let him know that you didn’t want to tell him the night of ‘bowling’ because you didn’t want to ruin the mood, but also you didn’t know how to because you like him SO MUCH!
Insure him that you want to be with him if he’ll have you!
But keep in mind that he’s going to have a chat with his friend, so you BETTER TELL HIM THE TRUTH!
Also, understand that he chooses to move forward with you…. there may be a few trust issues.
I had a friend in a similar situation and she ultimately choose to ‘break it off’ with the guy, but they’ve remained good friends.
Hopefully this helps love!