Home / Life&Love / [Lifestyle] Dear Kierra M: I Haven’t Been On A Date In 1 Year, Where Should I Start?

[Lifestyle] Dear Kierra M: I Haven’t Been On A Date In 1 Year, Where Should I Start?

Written Personally By KierraM

“Being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure.”

-Bob Marley

I always find it amusing when individuals ask me for dating advice. Why? Because after ending a seven year relationship where things were very wishy washy most of the time, I STILL haven’t mustered up the nerve to go on a date. And it’s been 3 years!

What you must first realize is that ALL women aren’t wired the same. You may have a few friends who are able to start dating almost immediately following a break up, and now you’re wondering why you aren’t like them.

STOP!

You like everyone else, have a very unique situation! And honestly, I’ve found that after a year MOST aren’t really ready to date. They’re just no longer comfortable with the feeling of being alone! It’s a feeling that begins to scare them, and cause some to believe that they’re losing their “MOJO.”

NOT TRUE!

Prior to dating, make sure that you’re COMPLETELY ready. If you have any ounce of doubt, don’t do it!

But once you’ve gotten to the place where you’re ready then start by PAYING ATTENTION! Over the past three 3 years, I probably would’ve been on several dates had I paid attention. There were so many men showing interest in me but because I wasn’t ready, I didn’t think twice about giving them a chance!

Newsflash: DON’T BE LIKE ME!

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My second piece of advice would be to KNOW YOUR TYPE, or at least WHAT YOU’RE LOOKING FOR! 

During quiet time, actually think about that you would like in a mate! Include personality, height, looks, occupation, etc… Take the time out to write this down on paper! You’ll thank yourself later.

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Moving on…. now I personally don’t like meeting individuals on dating apps because (1) it scares me, and (2) I like meeting people organically or “the old fashion” way as some would say. Nonetheless, a few of my closest friends have tested the apps and they love them. In fact, one friend is actually in a SERIOUS relationship now.

So if if doesn’t scare you, try a dating app.

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And then my last piece of advice is: DO NOT BE AFRAID OF BEING THE AGGRESSOR! Now I know a few women who say, “I’ll never approach a male.” That’s fine! However, I’ve always been one to go after what I want in all aspects of life. So I don’t have an issue with letting a male know that I’m interested, especially if the likelihood of me running into him again is ‘slim to none.’ 

But hey, that’s just me!

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I’ve given you loads of advice! Maybe I should start listening to myself and dating as well. *Thinking*

All jokes aside, SO WHAT that it’s been a year. Start dating because it feels right, or because you’re ready, NOT because of time restraints.

Hopefully this answers your question.

#Love #Peace #Success 

-KierraM

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