Written Personally By: KierraM
So I guess the real question I’m being asked is,
Can you genuinely remove arguing from a relationship? Or do you believe it’s healthy?
I’ll start with a quote by Tony Gaskins that I now LIVE by in relationships, and it says:
“Arguing isn’t communication, it’s NOISE.”
Now of course I’m expecting a percentage of people to say, ‘Kierra, you don’t know what you’re talking about!’ And that’s okay, because everyone is entitled to their opinion. But what I’ve grown to understand and experience is that NO ONE gets heard when arguing is involved.
Tempers flare, voices are at an all time high, and often times things are said that can never be forgiven!
We must understand that it’s okay to DISAGREE! And it’s even better to do so respectfully! Will there be sarcasm? Maybe. Will someone have to walk away before things get out of hand? Possibly. But can things be resolved at a later time? ABSOLUTELY.
I don’t believe that ‘arguing’ is a natural part of every relationship, whether business or personal. I JUST DON’T! That’s one notion that I refuse to accept. Why? Because I’ve been friends with people for years and have never had an argument. Does it mean that we’re always on each others ‘best’ side? No. And during those times we respectfully distance ourselves until we’re able to COMMUNICATE how we feel without hurting one another.
I know what you’re probably saying:
“Kierra, a relationship without arguing is unhealthy! Especially with a lover.”
“Okay, if that’s that you’re willing to accept!”
The ‘ugly truth’ is that lots of couples aren’t willing to ‘go the extra mile’ and make the required sacrifices within themselves and the relationship in order to keep things moving smoothly.
However, I do believe that learning to ‘co-exist’ and accept one another’s flaws can be challenging. But this is also where levels of ‘maturity’ play a HUGE part. As well as figuring out how badly you REALLY want the relationship to work.
ALL relationships take patience, time, and lots of nurturing. And if your past ‘track record’ is filled with negativity, heartache, fights, etc…. Then you probably need to try a new method.
Comedian Kevin Hart recently stated:
“You must BE different, to GET different.”
Speaking on behalf of myself, with all that I have going on BOTH personally and professionally, I don’t have the energy to devote to arguing. It literally takes TOO MUCH energy! I’d rather invest that into being productive. So on my quest for love, I’m searching for someone who has similar views and I’m not willing to settle for less.
So, I’m NOT the girl that causes arguments just have ‘makeup sex’.
Hopefully this response was helpful.
Wishing you much PEACE, LOVE, and SUCCESS as always!