S I D E C H I C K :
[noun.] [plural side chicks] [African American Vernacular, slang] A mistress; a woman one dates in addition to one’s girlfriend or wife, usually in secret.
The millennial term “side-chick” seems to carry the same meaning as “jezebel,” which is what our great-grandmothers, aunties, etc… called women who seemed to be living unethical/disrespectful lives.
So why are “side-chicks” glorified now?
Like many, we blame media!
Millions are obsessed with television shows like ‘Scandal’ and/or ‘Being Mary Jane’ [just to name a few] and not strictly because they’re relatable! But because for some, their seductiveness, promiscuity, and sexual openness is a DESIRE!
Media has a HUGE influence over the lives of BILLIONS per day. So what’s being portrayed is very crucial because unfortunately a DESIRE can turn into REALITY very quickly.
But besides blaming media, during a recent conversation we had while in attendance at this weekends “Act Like A Success Conference” in Atlanta, we spoke with an older woman [who will remain nameless] and she says that young women are ‘okay’ with certain circumstances because they’ve had NO REAL guidance.
According to this woman:
“These young women didn’t grow up like us. We had big mamas and elders that cared enough to teach us certain things like cooking, cleaning, working, self-respect, and knowing your worth. Unfortunately, a lot of these young women don’t have these people. And what’s even worst is that mothers and daughters are growing up together OR having babies together.”
We agree! She went on to say:
“And if you’re an older woman whose willing to be a side-chick, then you must be lonely and willing to accept what’s being given at that stage in your life.”
We’ve come in contact with beautiful women who we later learned was nothing more than a ‘willing’ side-chick. So much so, that now men are expecting [even having the audacity to ask] women to invite others into the bedroom and/or relationship. Which is another aspect that the media seems to show [i.e. Love & Hip Hop Atlanta].
After polling a few men, they seem to think that side-chicks are winning as a result of 1 of the following reasons:
Reason #1: “Side-chicks Are Willing To Play Their Position” [Availability]
Apparently side-chicks aren’t wondering “where he is,” “what’s he doing,” or “when he’ll make time for them.” They’re on-call at all times because they either have TOO MUCH free time, or only have limited time themselves.
They don’t have want to deal with the needs of a husband, so they’d prefer to just borrow someone else’s!
[Sidenote: We almost FLIPPED when we heard this!]
Reason #2: “Side-chick Getaways”
In most marriages, there are children involved! According to the men we polled, children have the tendency to change several aspects of the relationship. One being, you can’t ‘get up and go’ when you want.
So with side-chicks [even if they do have children] most likely, the children aren’t involved. So when they go on ‘getaways’ etc…. there’s no tension, no worrying! It’s just a good time!
Reason #3: “Continuous Dating”
Plain and simple, they say that you NEVER end the “dating” phase with a side-chick. Things are always FRESH with no additional pressure.
Reason #4: “NO Consequences”
According to the men, if they cancel, decide not to stay, tell them that they are going home to their wives, etc…. THERE ARE NO CONSEQUENCES with a side-chick. She doesn’t really care, and if she does, she doesn’t show it. Side-chicks normally have low relationship standards!
We know, it sounds CRAZY! But unfortunately, these group of women have become the new NORM! And what’s even worst is their lack of disregard for another woman’s time and/or investment.
In the words of Steve Harvey….
“Do not conform to who THEY want you to be!”
Be firm in what you want and/or believe! Side-chicks only WIN to those who allow them too!