Written Personally By: KMWExclusive
Just ONE day after ‘Valentine’s Day 2017,’ a much needed video went VIRAL using the hashtag ‘HurtBae.’ To date, I’ve literally watched the FULL length 6 minute and 44 second clip roughly a dozen times realizing that….
“I WAS, and to a certain extent STILL AM, #hurtbae”
I’ve seen the parodies and memes created out of this young woman’s pain, and while for some this is a joke, for MOST this is reality!
Roughly 80-85% of women have been tarnished or scorned by a male’s infidelity at some point in their lives, on more than one occasion. Now I know that most of you will pose the question:
“Why did she take him back after the first time?”
And while waiting for the response, ask yourself “Why did you take him back?” Or if you’ve never been in this situation, “Why are you being judgmental toward something that you’ve never had to experience?”
In life, EVERYTHING is easier said than done. And I agree, EVERYONE should know their worth and have limitations on what they ‘will’ and ‘will not’ accept. But let’s keep it REAL, understanding your worth and creating boundaries comes after trials and tribulations. Life’s lessons taught me to be strong! I learned from real life situations what I could and couldn’t handle based on the feelings I felt during those times.
“Like most, I wasn’t born with that mentality!”
So yes, while watching this young woman look into the eyes of a guy who hurt her, my heart wept! Not only did my heart weep for her, but for myself, and the countless amounts of other women who’ve had to endure the same.
Now remorseful, this young man admits that he:
- Knew that he wasn’t in the right place in life to commit
- Cheated COUNTLESS amounts of time
- Abandoned the relationship long before she was made aware
Amongst other things…….
No matter how long it’s been between your break up and this ‘closure’ conversation, if the feelings were real, when the truth comes out IT WILL HURT!
Those ‘scabby’ wounds will re-open! Your heart will shred to pieces once again! And you’ll begin questioning what YOU did wrong in this situation!
And those famous words:
“It wasn’t you, it was me!”
Won’t make the situation easier!
But what I’ve found is that this conversation is essential. CLOSURE is needed even if it causes you momentary pain. I saw a penned letter that said:
“To all the people along the way who hurt me, lied to me, betrayed me, and broke my heart…..You forced me to see the change I needed in my life and gave me the determination, motivation, and a belief that I needed to change. You gave me more than you could ever take from me. Thank You.”
Moving on can be so hard, but it’s extremely crucial. And not moving on to another “person,” but closing that chapter, learning to love yourself, and truly healing. That way, when it’s time for the next phase and/or relationship, you won’t take the same hurt and pain into it.
Tiara LaNiece said it best in a recent Instagram post:
“I was #hurtbae before! I thank the universe for its healing powers and myself for excepting that I was worth the effort it took to heal. We all laugh to avoid the hurt but in all actuality that’s one of the reasons we’re walking around sharing that pain in and out of each relationship we’re involved in… the truth is “hurt people, hurt people” and “healed people, heal people”…. putting up those temporary defenses will only block your healing and the LOVE you need to begin the process. When you’re guarded you aren’t only blocking the “fake love,” it prevents the “True Love” from getting in as well. So, I suggest that we all take a look in the mirror and realize this isn’t just a time to see someone else’s “vulnerability” as a time to talk/look down on them but a time to look in that mirror and recognize ourselves whether it be in the woman or in the man from that clip. I slept last night (well barely) with that story on my mind. It opened up some old wounds but I am soooooo much better these days and I thank anyone who’s taught me a lesson that “hurt” me I learned so much from you!”
A very special thanks to Kourtney and Leonard for being so vulnerable and sharing their story!
Just in case you missed #hurtbae Check it out above.